Being a pageant girl has always been wonderful – yes, losing stinks but with every loss I have been able to reflect and see what I could have tweaked to do better. Sometimes I watch the video and see that my shoulders were rounded or maybe my on stage answer needed some finesse. I will admit I typically watch myself and the top 5 only because that is where I learn. I realize that I am harder on myself than anyone else could be. As of late, though, I have watched my performance and not seen a ‘lack’, and have lost the inspiration and drive to win that I once had. This last year HAS been taxing on me and my family and a much needed break was in the cards.
Last Thursday my husband and I left for an amazing 5 days in New York City. A time alone to just be us after being apart for so long – we even realized that we were spending the anniversary of our first date at Serendipity. Looking back on where we have been individually and as a couple, then where we are now and how many wonderful things are in store for our future just makes me smile.
We chose to walk just about everywhere – several hundred blocks a day. I was so inspired walking through the city – In Washington Square Park there was a man in his mid-30’s that had rolled a full size piano out and was playing it. There were street performers everywhere – some of the most amazing voices that may never be discovered were singing in Central Park. I was so inspired to finish my book, inspired to finish college, inspired to just be a better version of me. There was a certain sense of clarity that I found – realizing that not everything in life is cut and dry, that I can be a little more grey area, and that I need to bring it down a notch and not always be so wound up. I have come to believe that I must be an East Coast girl at heart – I am in love with Virginia, with DC and with NYC. I love the colors, the energy, the people... not so much the cost of living but hey that’s what a good job is for.
We visited the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the 9/11 Memorial all in one day... a start to our country for so many, their lives changed walking through the buildings at Ellis Island and then ending the day on hallowed ground from an event that forever changed the history of our country and the lives of everyone in it. Standing in both places was humbling, reminding me that the world is so much bigger than I remember. Standing at the base of the Statue of Liberty and looking up – the symbol of so much for our country. We stood at the top of the Empire State Building looking out at the peace and serenity of the world – not a care could reach that high. As busy as our trip was – it was the most relaxing and clarifing one I have taken in so long.
I am thankful for the opportunity to have had this trip with Grant, to be able to open my mind to a life outside of my bubble – I am thankful for my daughter that cried (ok we both cried) when I left because she and I haven’t been apart since before daddy left for Iraq. I am thankful for my mother in law that was able to watch Krystina for us while we were gone and for the relationship that the two of them have... and I am thankful for my life and all those in it!!!
Now for a fun filled weekend judging for the National American Miss Pageant... 4th year and I LOVE IT!
